07.05.10

Il mio DOC (Disturbo Ossessivo Compulsivo) mi fa sentire SPORCA, una “POCO DI BUONO”

10:22:40, Aree di intervento: Ansia, Paure, Fobie, Disturbo Ossessivo Compulsivo  

Sono SPORCA, una “POCO DI BUONO”

Martina è una giovane donna di circa 30 anni, da 10 anni soffre di Dissturbo Ossessivo Compulsivo(DOC).

Tutta la sua vita, i suoi pensieri, le sue emozioni e i suoi comportamenti sono condizionati dal suo disturbo ossessivo. Martina non ha la libertà di truccarsi, vestirsi in modo femminile, fumare, bere un caffè al bar, passeggiare serenamente per la strada, abbracciare un amico, un bambino e di lavorare.

Si attivano i suoi pensieri ossessivi, non desiderati, non voluti, amorali che le creano livelli di ansia pazzeschi. Lei si sente, così, sporca e un senso di schifo l’assale per cui DEVE emettere rituali per risistemare i suoi gesti e pensieri (compulsioni). Solo così, alla fine potrà sentirsi pulita, onesta, ma SOLO TEMPORANEAMENTE.

PENSIERI OSSESSIVI

“… non ti truccare prima di uscire da casa, perché vorresti truccarti, per piacere agli uomini? A si, tu vuoi piacere agli uomini!!! Cosa pensi di fare con loro? Vorresti andarci a letto?
Quando cammini per la strada abbassa lo sguardo, sistema i piedi a papera, metti i capelli dietro le orecchie ed indossa abiti larghi e mascolini, non vorrai mica piacere agli uomini!!! E’ passato un ragazzo, come mai ti sei toccata i capelli, volevi essere carina per lui? Lo hai fatto di proposito perché volevi piacere a quel ragazzo, sei una troia, sei una schifosa, sei una puttana …”

EMOZIONI

Martina sta male, piange, si sente in colpa, l’ansia si alza in modo incredibile. Non vorrebbe avere quei pensieri.

COMPORTAMENTO (COMPULSIONI)

Martina deve RIVEDERE, CONTROLLA e RICONTROLLA MENTALMENTE per verificare se effettivamente si è toccata i capelli proprio mentre passava il ragazzo. Si siede per terra in un angolo della cucina, con le mani tra i capelli, RIPERCORRE per poi dirsi “no, è tutto a posto non ho toccato i capelli, quindi io non volevo fare nulla di male”.

Spesso TELEFONA ai medici, agli psicologi, al marito e ai familiari, per CONFESSARE eventuali pensieri e comportamenti che il DOC le ha fatto vivere come non giusti. Martina ha bisogno di RACCONTARE, confessare per sentirsi rassicurata e tranquillizzata dagli altri, per sentirsi pulita e a posto.

Martina segue completamente il suo Disturbo Ossessivo Compulsivo.

Anche dentro casa la vita è un inferno. Le si attivano i pensieri ossessivi che le impediscono di accendere la musica, fare rumore, tenere le tapparelle alzate quando pulisce casa, …

PENSIERI

“… chiudi la finestra e tira la tenda quando pulisci casa, non vorrai farti vedere dal vicino di casa!!
Non accendere la radio, non vorrai mica farti notare dalle persone che salgono le scale, cosa vorresti fare con loro, tradire tuo marito?
Prima di uscire di casa guarda dallo spioncino, assicurati che non ci sia nessuno, non vorrai mica incrociare qualche uomo e andare a letto con lui? …”

EMOZIONI

Dubbi, vergogna, colpa, ansia, paura, un senso di schifo e di sporco l’assale.

COMPULSIONI

Pur di non provare quelle sensazioni, Martina esegue alla lettera gli ordini, i comandi, le indicazioni del DOC, lei non è libera di agire normalmente, ma è come se fosse telecomandata dai pensieri ossessivi.

Questi sono solo alcuni dei pensieri ossessivi che che il cervello le invia da quando Martina apre gli occhi fino alla sera poco prima di coricarsi e spegnere la parte frontale del suo cervello.

I pensieri ossessivi sono di varia natura: pedofili, aggressivi, sessuali. Falsi pensieri il cui contenuto amorale crea disperazione, ansia e umore depresso.

TERAPIA COMPORTAMENTALE

Martina ha iniziato da poco la terapia comportamentale. Finora è diventata consapevole che soffre di un disturbo d’ansia chiamato disturbo ossessivo compulsivo che le invia continui messaggi e la obbliga ad emettere gesti e comportamenti finalizzati a non sentirsi in ansia.

Attribuisce i pensieri ossessivi al DOC, un disturbo biochimico del cervello e come se il cervello fosse bloccato, inceppato e le invia continuamente messaggi . Non è facile, è una lotta, Martina fa uno sforzo cosciente per aggrapparsi alla realtà e andare avanti, ma spesso non è facile e segue il suo disturbo, la sua malattia rafforzandola, cementandola.

Il DOC si nutre delle sue compulsioni.

Martina piange, si dispera, è stanca, vorrebbe non avere quei pensieri ma ciò è utopistico. I pensieri sono automatici, arrivano anche se lei non li desidera, può imparare a gestirlo. Martina vuole essere una donna libera, felice, desidera avere un figlio e ciò le da la forza per andare avanti anche nei momenti di maggior sconforto.

In terapia ci siamo posti degli obiettivi settimanali.

Finora Martina è riuscita a raggiungere i seguenti obiettivi:

- tenere nella borsa sigarette, trucchi e caramelle
- truccarsi prima di uscire di casa
- camminare a passo non veloce
- tenere i piedi dritti
- ascoltare la musica dentro casa
- fare le pulizie con le finestre aperte

Comportamenti normali della vita quotidiana, ma non per Martina. Si attiva il suo DOC che le crea dubbi, perplessità, ansia, insicurezza e quel senso di sporco che la fa sentire “schifosa”, “troia”, non onesta.

Tra i futuri obiettivi ci sarà quello di riconoscere queste emozioni e sensazioni e di accettarle perché non sono reali, non corrispondono alla realtà ma sono brutte sensazioni che il DOC le fa provare come conseguenza dei suoi pensieri.

Martina dovrà diventare un’adolescente ribelle, oppositiva per sfidare il suo disturbo:

“mi dici che se indosso una maglietta attillata io sono una troia. STOP sono pensieri OSSESSIVI dovuti alla mia malattia. Io indosso lo stesso la maglietta perchè voglio essere libera. In questo momento sto provando una sensazione di sporco è normale è il doc che me la fa provare, io indosso la maglietta".

Il cambiamento comportamentale sarà difficile ma è la strada per indebolire sempre di più il suo disturbo, raffreddando la parte frontale del suo cervello.

Per la prossima settimana Martina si è posta l’obiettivo di fumare in macchina.

Credo in lei e le sto vicino

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